Daryl is a liar. He's a lying cheating jerk. He never meant anything he said. He does not love me at all! Everything was just a big lie! I know what he wanted all along... I just found out I'm a total comfort eater. I mean now that I'm all worked up and upset over Dare I'm thinking of things I could eat.... But I wont give in. I already had 3 crackers and 3 bites of noodles. I'm already a cheater. I need to think about Robert... I mean I will be seeing him in less than 24 hours.... Hehe. So excited. SO nervous!!!! I downloaded a bunch of music today which obviously makes me feel a little better but I keep wondering if and what I should say to Daryl to make him want me... I just need to remember he DOES want me, I mean hello? It's not like he's going to get anyone as hot as me again :P
So I leave on Tuesday... That's only 5 days from now! And the Monday after that I'll probably be going to Fort Mac! Everything is happening so quickly... I just feel so overwhelmed and nervous.. I just need to keep my chin up. Pray that my moms cheque comes tomorrow! Gosh then everything would be okay. I'm going to miss her so much it's crazy, I will just feel so good making money and knowing I'm helping her again.

So... It's 2:20. I don't know what's going on... I mean I do.. I know that I'm not good enough I know that I'm never going to be thin enough. I need to try harder. I need to do better... I need to be thin and tight and perfect. otherwise no one will ever like me. No wonder Daryl doesn't really want to be with me! I'm so fat and ugly I look like I weight 300 lbs! Anytime I feel like eating I just need to pinch my fat. EWWW.