New year, new beginnings! I LOVE YOU.

45 minutes left

45 minutes until 2013 and I really feel ready for a good new year... I'm having a glass of white wine, only one though!!! :) I'm so excited! xo

Tasty.

So 2 more hours until the new year, I'm sitting hear playing a board game with my mom and little brother and I'm drinking peppermint green tea. Yummy! I am ready for a happy, thin, beautiful new year! x

Meaningless rambles...x

So it's 8 o'clock just about and I have eaten enough for the night I think. I might have a drink in a little while but I'm not sure. All I know is nothing is happening after 12 o'clock... I'm working on some schedules and plans that I will post a little later once they're complete. I've been watching 90210 which really has been a thinsporation for me, the girls are so beautiful!! Something that I've been thinking about is if I go away for work will it be more easy or more difficult? I'm really unsure, I mean I of course hope it will be more easy and I honestly think it will be as long as there is internet service up there and everything... I mean my biggest inspirations and motivations are online. Especially with this new blog because this is where I'll be keeping all my plans and pictures and stats and everything... Anyways I know I've been putting a lot on here, if anyone is reading I know it's probably annoying my meaningless rambles, but there will be a lot better stuff in the near future, just working away! P.S all the photos I attach are just images I find inspiring... Something that I aspire to be... A body I think is beautiful. xx.

Okay, so it's just about 6 o'clock and I'm gonna have a drink, I might eat a bit as well but come new 12 o'clock I'm done with all that. Anyways this is just a short post, I'll throw some plans and goals down soon, xo.

New years eve plans...

So of course plans have changed for the night. Because no one actually cares and Daryl just wants to use me. Well you know what? Fuck him. Fuck him and his using me. I don't care anymore. He's not Robert. Pablo asked me to go out with him and I blew that off as well... I mean, may I should have gone... But I just don't feel much like it... I rather work on my diet and work out plans and watch 90210, maybe have a drink with my mom. I mean ifI went out I would end up getting drunk and crying over Robert anyway, like I always fricken do. I tried to tell Daryl I was going out with Robert but I changed my mind and told him that truly I'm just staying home and blogging because I know if he thinks I went out he'll think I slept around or something and I just can not deal with that drama with him anymore. He doesn't know half of what I did during the time we were apart... Or even when we were together! I hate everyone. Okay. No, I'm just putting myself in a bad mood. I mean, the only shitty part about tonight is that I'm 18 and I'm sitting in my bed on new years eve blogging while everyone else my age is out getting shitfaced doing drugs and kissing at midnight. Well to be quite frank the only person I'd want to kiss at midnight is Robert. Oh god that makes me wonder... I wonder if he'll kiss anyone for new years... Oh god I can't even think about that!!! Anyways it's fine, when Robert see's me as Sasquatch next year he will just fall in love with me, no matter who he's kissed while we were apart. Because we belong together... I know we do. And you know what everyone else can just suck it. Daryl for one can leave me alone, he thinks he can play these games with my head and my heart just because he's older than I am? He owes me the fricken world, he should seriously be treating me like a princess, he's so lucky to even have me!! I just want to get this job Neil told me about so I can make good money... Bleh. Okay, write my plane for the night in a little bit! xx

1. So today is new years eve, which means tomorrow it's officially 2013 which means that tomorrow my new life starts, my new self awakens! This is going to be my year, nothing will bring me down, no one will tell me I can't, and if they do I will prove them wrong. I am going to be beautiful and successful and I'm going to be Robert's dream girl. I've screwed up a lot this year, 2012 has been a total downer for me, I've gained so much weight I've lost the love of my life, I've hurt my best friends... But this is a new beginning... This is my fucking year! No more eating late at night while I lay in bed watching TV dramas, no more binge eating, no more junk food, no more laziness, no more fat!!! I will be perfect... I will work for this... For him... I have a goal... I have a vision and I will succeed. There is nothing stopping me, there is no one standing in my way except for myself... But not anymore my friends. I want this so bad! I have just about 5 full months to get the perfect body... That is plenty of time and he is plenty worth it. Sasquatch this year is going to be the time of my life, nothing holding me back, I can walk around in a bathing suit, I can jump up into his arms when he sees me and we obviously instantaneously fall in love at the first glance. Green tea and water are my new best friends! Yummy! No more excuses, no more tomorrows, no more fat, just more and more thin. I will work everyday, I will sweat, I will work until I puke, I will suffer for this. I want this. Happy new years eve bitches, I'm ready for new years day!!! THIS IS MY YEAR.